Life and Death

Grandpa Lou died on Tuesday night. I feel something I didn't expect to feel--I feel sad. He was my last remaining grandparent and somehow, this loss is harder than the rest. It reminds me of my own mortality and it reminds me of how time passes, two things I had thought I had overcome. I spent Wednesday thinking about his face and alternatedly laughing and crying. Normal reactions I know, but here I thought I was ABOVE normal! So, I guess there is a lesson in that. I am grateful that Grandpa checked out before heading down a road of medical horror. After a month of pneumonia he had just received a feeding tube, something the doctors felt he would live with for the rest of his life. And, with the tube, he'd have to move out of his lovely retirement home because they don't want "sick" people. It was looking like the beginning of a dark, dismal path of medicine and discomfort in the name of "life." So, I believe Grandpa's choice was conscious. Which is an interesting question for me to ponder as I look toward complete enlightenment. What ISN'T a choice? If everything in life including death is a choice, why have I made the ones that led me here? And, which choices can I make for change? Do I just say, "ok, from here on out I will be blah blah blah?" or do I have to look at each small choice in the day and change my reactions to those? I think this is the answer. But, which choices to begin with?

The other night we watched a lecture on 2012. In it, David Wilcox said that people will choose where they will go in 2012. Where will I go? Did Grandpa somehow know about this choice? Catch the video here, it is most interesting!: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4951448613711060908&q=2012+physics&total=86&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=0